We’ve hosted the holidays for our family/friend group for eighteen years. All the holidays, every year. We enjoyed it and had the house for it.
Then we moved into a condominium.
Everyone was saying they’d come up, or over, or down to our new place. We could have our traditional holidays, just in a new place. I commented that we didn’t have very many dining type chairs at our new place and heard “we’ll sit on the floor!” So, I was going with the flow trying to imagine Thanksgiving dinner in our new place if everyone really did show up.
Then my grown-woman-daughter Sarah said, “Carolina wants to host” “What??? Really?!! That would be great!” I told Sarah that Carolina’s mother I had just talked about Thanksgiving, and she didn’t say anything about that.
“Everyone’s afraid it will hurt your feelings.”
“What?? Really?!!! Not at all!” I said and looked over at my husband who was almost teary eyed, “but it might hurt your dad’s.” Sarah acknowledged that a Thanksgiving where Marshall could not explain to everyone how to cook a turkey in a brown paper bag, might not actually be thanksgiving.
Carolina solved the problem: We are brining the turkey.
The thing Marshall treasured most will remain, but lots of other things will change. And Carolina doesn’t have to host every holiday for the next 18 years. The next generation is taking on the traditions of the past and changing them as we go!
In Isaiah 43: 18-19 God says:
"Do not remember the former things or consider the things of old.
I am about to do a new thing; not it springs forth; do you not perceive it?"
God wasn’t talking about anything as trivial as where we celebrated the holidays.
But God did name why change is difficult for us. I kinda love that in the verses before this section, God reminds everyone of everything God did for them in the past. And then says: “Do not remember the former things.” I take that to mean, “Don’t get stuck on the things of the past, build on them. You know this is how I work so look for what I’m doing next.”
Changing the culture of a congregation so that it can build on the past without getting stuck doing things the way we’ve always done them takes focus over the long haul. If you’ve participated in one of my workshops you’ve probably heard me pick on a fictious couple named Mildred and Elmer. These are the folks whose feelings people don’t want to hurt. But, like me with the holidays, they aren’t always as fragile as folks fear.
Most people want to have their say
More than they need to have their way.
Talk to the Mildreds and Elmers in your life. Talk to them first, before you announce anything to the congregation. Ask them what they think about whatever new idea you have. They probably have an opinion, and their comments may help you tweak the idea, or amend the way you present it. Ask Mildred to help you get the word out. You know she will.
If you want to know more about how to think through communicating with the influential people in your congregation, check out our free resource called ‘Leading Change: Theory and Strategy.
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